What does it feel like to let go of perfectionism? As I embark on this journey of online self-marketing; blogs, vlogs, Instagram, and FB, to name a few, I can’t help but notice my hesitancy to post online. I’ve never been one to post publicly. With curiosity, I ask myself, why am I hesitant? First, I want to take a pause here. I didn’t only ask WHY I’m hesitant, I chose to be curious about why I’m hesitant. Anytime someone starts with a Why, there can be a connotation that something is wrong. Why did you do THAT? Defenses go up. What does adding curiosity to the mix do? It adds a sense of compassion, a sense of wholeness, a sense of unconditional positive regard.
So, what is this hesitancy about? It occurred to me that I wanted things to be, well, kind of perfect. Ahhh, this seems to be a recurrent theme throughout my coaching sessions as of late but cleverly disguised in other ways. Out of the gate, yep, a newbie blogger who would post the most poetic and meaningful blog EVER posted. After working 30+ years as a “professional” accountant, there is a certain level of quality I expect from myself. I endeavor to put out quality work. And so now I find myself in the starting gate, the same place I was at many moons ago in my accounting career. Did it take years to learn and polish my work quality and output? Absolutely! Did I have mentors along the way? Yes! How might I apply this to my current situation? Might I give myself a break and understanding instead? Might I reach out for some support?
I had an epiphany yesterday that prompted me to write this blog. I attended a meditation session where my teacher introduced a new chi gung movement. I was giving it my ALL. Moving as perfectly as I could, mirroring his movements as precisely as I could, of course. Then, he suggested we try the movement with 70% effort. My first thought was, wait what? If I only tried at 70%, I would get mediocre results. The opposite was in fact what happened! What a revelation! I noticed a softening in my body as my arms moved with ease. I could breathe more deeply and yet I exerted much less energy. I felt a sense of space being created as I let go of my TRYING, and my almost gritting teeth habituated posture. It was astounding to me how this thought shifted the energy so dramatically.
And again, later in the day as I was weeding the bark in my garden, feeling tired and unmotivated, I remembered those words from earlier in the day–apply 70% of the effort. I tried it, and something magical happened. My body energy shifted from a contracted, LET’S POWER through this, to an openness and ease. Same thing! Bam! I finished the rest in no time, with ease, and leaving me with an increased level of energy.
And so, as I apply this concept to blogging, and write without the need for it to be a perfect 10, there is a sense of ease and flow. The concepts and words flow easily to the page with little effort. My authentic self is coming forth and there is perhaps more meaning to the words.
I wonder, what areas of your life might you be grasping on tightly that are not serving you? What if you were to explore with curiosity and start to notice when your energy is low, your body is feeling tight, and you’re telling yourself you must push through. I invite you try on this 70% concept and see what happens for you.
I’d love to hear your thoughts, post a comment and let me know if you tried it!
Loved this!
I’m glad it resonated with you 🙂
I love love this post. Totally relate with perfectionism. For me it is a reflection of my Responsibility strength, I care deeply about quality and not letting people down.
Instead, I try to think not of perfectionism but of making progress, growing, learning, that mindset alleviates the pressure of always being perfect. No human is perfect! It is not easy, I have to make a conscious effort.
It’s a fine balance between doing our best and knowing when to let go, isn’t it?
Reminding me to bring in the element of curiosity, just when I need it! Thank you.
I have been feeling a sense of low energy and with it the automatic negative self talk, and then the hard work to get out of the negative state. Giving myself permission to give it a 70% effort is novel and I will certainly explore how that may change the experience. I will keep you posted.